The Power of Gratitude in the Workplace with Scott Colby | E. 81

Episode Introduction 

Scott explores why gratitude is a form of self-care, why it’s good business to implement a gratitude practice, and the impact of workplace loneliness. He also reveals the reason that 79% of workers leave their jobs, the transformative power of a handwritten note and how 36 questions can build long-lasting connections.

Show Topics

• Lessons from Guatemala for healthcare leaders
• Gratitude is a form of self-care
• The power of handwritten notes 
• Treat people like humans, not transactions
• Loneliness causes disconnections in the workplace
• How 36 questions build relationships 

06:09 Lessons from Guatemala for healthcare leaders

Scott said that work is often a reason people are unhealthy in the US, 

‘’From my perspective, what I see is workers are overwhelmed, they’re stressed, they have things to get done. I think in the US I think specifically we have a put your head down and get the work done no matter what the expense is. And often I think it’s at the expense of the employee, the team member, the healthcare worker. And so I think that’s a mentality. It’s like, “Hey, we need to get the job done no matter what. And if it takes working long hours, if it takes not getting to take a lunch break or taking any type of break, we just have to get it done.” And sometimes I think people feel like the work environment is not conducive to taking care of our own personal wellbeing. And then sometimes I know for people, they have challenges just asking for help. That was a big difference in Guatemala. Now keep in mind, I was there for a short period of time, but the community came out to welcome us. And the other thing I didn’t share is they were getting their hands dirty alongside the volunteers and actually did a lot of the work, but not at the expense of their health. They did it alongside of each other and like, “Hey, we have a common goal to build a new classroom and we’re going to do it as a community, but at the same time, we’re going to welcome strangers, we’re going to play soccer, we’re going to be in the outdoors and take breaks.” And I just think it’s a different mindset here where we work, and I know specifically as I still do some individual health coaching with clients who are looking to lose weight and improve their sleep and lower their stress. No matter what industry they’re in, it seems like work is a big reason that they’re unhealthy. And it stinks because as an employee, if we’re unhealthy, we’re not going to do our best at work.’’

10:18 Gratitude is a form of self-care

Scott explained why having a gratitude practice is beneficial for physical and mental well-being.

‘’I believe it’s essential that we have our own gratitude practice first before we even bring it into the work environment. Well, I’ll give an analogy, and most people probably have heard of this, is to, when you’re on an airplane before they take off, they’re reading the safety instructions, put that oxygen mask on yourself before you help other people around you. So just imagine if you don’t put that oxygen mask on yourself and you pass out, you can’t help anybody else. And so I believe if we’re feeling down and depressed and negative and then our work says, “Hey, we’re going to start implementing gratitude.” Well, we’re not going to be full participants because we don’t feel good ourselves, we’re feeling mentally, maybe physically sick. And so gratitude is a form of self-care. So the studies show that if you have a consistent and regular gratitude practice, you will feel more optimistic, you’re going to be more positive, your stress is going to be less, you might have more energy, sleep better. Whole host of benefits to practice personal gratitude. So I feel like that needs to be in place so that you are kind of more fit and more strong to give it out to other people when you start implementing that at work.’’

13:54 The power of handwritten notes

Scott said handwritten notes are a simple but powerful way to express appreciation in the workplace. 

‘’Now, the reason I like handwritten notes so much is if you think about the way we live our lives currently, we’re in a rush, we’re getting messages from everywhere, like social media, text, email, and probably 100 other ways that I didn’t name. And even if we’re getting a thank you, which sometimes we don’t, they’re often just quick text messages like thank you. And they’re usually for things that we did or for gift giving. Think about how would you feel if all of a sudden at work you received a handwritten note from a coworker who took the time to actually buy a card, get an envelope, mail it to your home, and write a heartfelt message of how they feel about you and what they appreciate about you. Not even looking about, “Hey, you’re doing a great job” or “Thank you for filling in for me when I had to miss a day.” But just like, “Hey, here’s what I love about you as a person. You’re funny. You make me laugh every day.” If you got that from a coworker or a boss and it came into your mail, which we know most mail is bills and ads, and you’re getting this envelope and it’s a handwritten envelope and you open it up and you’re like, wow. If that’s from a coworker or boss and they just pour their heart out to you, you’re going to be like, “I feel really good. This person really cares about me as a human being” and it’s going to change your attitude in the workplace. So you are going to want to do a better job and probably be more productive and you’re happier overall and maybe want to stick around the workplace and not quit your job. And so I think that’s why gratitude can be shown in many different ways at work, but I think handwritten notes is one of the most powerful ways that you could do so.’’

18:20 Treat people like humans, not transactions

Scott shared an anecdote to illustrate the importance of leading with gratitude. 

‘’And so I consider leading with gratitude, especially whether you’re a one man company or you have a whole organization with hundreds of people as treating other people. And so I know we’ve talked about how we treat our coworkers, but let’s say how we treat our patients, our residents, our clients, treating them like humans and not like a transaction. So got a couple good examples for you based from my own personal life. When I lived in Denver, I had two cats, one of them named Nomar and Nomar had to get two teeth pulled one morning. And so as our pets are getting surgery and whatever is going on with them, we get nervous, we’re anxious. So that morning I went to my favorite coffee shop called Fluid, and Fluid is a company and organization, they serve coffee, but they really got to know me over the years as a person. They knew that I had two cats. They knew I took a trip to Guatemala. Well, that morning I told the barista Coley, “Hey, my cat was getting two teeth pulled.” This is very coincidental, but she had a cat getting teeth pulled that day as well. She just did something simple. She said, “Your coffee is on the house.” And that made me smile. It took my mind off my cat for a few minutes, and it wasn’t a company saying, “Hey, we need to milk this transaction and make sure we get money out of you.” It was like, “Hey, Scott is anxious today. How can we put a smile on his face for a few minutes?” And so that stuck with me. And then later on that day when the vet office called me in to pick up Nomar, they said he did a good job. It’s easy just to have, “Here’s your cat. Pay us $1000.” While that did happen, what they also did was they gave me a certificate, and the certificate was for Nomar, and they called it a Certificate of Bravery. And they said, “Nomar was a brave boy today.” And it may sound corny, but if anybody praises our pets for those pet lovers out there, we just love that company. And so this vet did something very simple. They made a certificate of bravery for Nomar, and that just made my day.’’

23:40 Loneliness causes disconnections in the workplace 

Scott said helping people make connections and build friendships at work boosts engagement and productivity. 

‘’One eye-opening statistic, it’s not talked about, I think as much as maybe appreciation or workplace wellbeing, although it’s part of it, is loneliness in the workplace. And so a statistic that came out a few years ago is 61% of employees feel lonely at work, they feel disconnected. And again, that’s going to hurt engagement and productivity, and you’re not going to want to stay there longer. On the other hand, 70% of employees in a survey said that having a friend at work is the number one critical factor to workplace happiness, which I love saying that. So I think one of the things I would really invest in is creating these deeper connections in the workplace and even friendships. I know maybe we don’t talk about that much. Creating a friend at work. …. the jobs that I had when I had friends at work and we maybe did things together or we got to know each other on a more personal level, that made work more fun. It made it more tolerable, even if there were things about the job I didn’t like, and then you have a second thought about quitting your job because “Hey, I don’t want to leave a job that I have friends at.” So there are different ways that you can create these human connections at work, such as writing handwritten notes or taking a break with them outside and sharing a laugh or sharing a meal together.’’

30:30 How 36 questions build relationships

Scott said research by psychologist Arthur Aaron showed the positive impact of getting to know your coworkers.

‘’Arthur Aaron was a research psychologist decades ago. He wanted to answer this question, how can we in a laboratory setting create instant intimacy between strangers? So what he did, he got a large group of people, brought them into his laboratory, and what he had done, he created, after some trial and error, he had created a list of 36 questions. They started out more general and then got more intimate, and he paired people up. Mind you, these people were strangers and they just took turns back and forth asking each other these questions. Just imagine if you’re in a room with some other person, maybe a coworker that you don’t know very well, and that you ask each other these 36 questions. By the end of that, you’re going to be like, gosh, I know this person a lot better now. I know their likes, dislikes, what they’re going through. And so what Arthur Aaron found out is I think it was 57% of the people in the group that were strangers wanted to hang out with their partner again in some other setting after the research project was over. So they got to know the person enough that they wanted to hang out together after the fact. And then two people from the study, one pair actually got married and invited everybody from the study. So really asking these kind of open-ended questions like what is one word that describes how you’re feeling about life right now? 

Show Links

Connect with Lisa Miller on LinkedIn

Connect with Jim Cagliostro on LinkedIn

Connect with Scott Colby on LinkedIn

Check out VIE Healthcare and SpendMend 

You’ll also hear: 

How a trip to Guatemala inspired Scott’s personal gratitude journey. ‘’I started to kind of examine my life, like why am I complaining all the time? Why am I focusing on the things that I don’t have instead of being grateful for my life and what I do have?’’

Why stepping back is important in the working environment: ‘’The thing about pushing yourself so hard is it leads to illness, whether it’s physical illness, emotional exhaustion, mental breakdowns…. studies actually show that when we can take breaks and step away for a few minutes, we’ll come back to our work more recharged and more productive.’’

The importance of valuing people in the workplace: ‘’… 79% of the people that answered the survey said they left their job in large part because they didn’t feel appreciated in the workplace…it’s one thing to recognize you for your work, but it’s another thing to feel appreciated as a human being…’’

Alternative questions to ask when “How are you today?” isn’t enough: ‘’…the standard answer is, “I’m fine.” When in reality we probably have 50 other emotions that aren’t fine that we could have expressed, but we’re not comfortable expressing them …’’

Leadership tips: Understanding that business is personal ‘’…get to know people on that level, and I think that’s going to make a big difference in your organization.’’

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Episode Transcript 

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Scott Colby (00:00): Gratitude is a form of self-care. So the studies show that if you have a consistent and regular gratitude practice, you will feel more optimistic, you’re going to be more positive, your stress is going to be less, you might have more energy, sleep better. Whole host of benefits to practise personal gratitude. So I feel like that needs to be in place so that you are kind of more fit and more strong to give it out to other people when you start implementing that at work. Introduction (00:30): Welcome to the Healthcare Leadership Experience Podcast, hosted by Lisa Miller and Jim Cagliostro. Lisa is the founder of VIE Healthcare Consulting and now Managing Director at SpendMend. Lisa and her team has generated over $1 billion in financial improvements for VIE’s clients since 1999. Since 2007, Jim has been a registered nurse working in critical care, perioperative services and outpatient settings at nationally recognized medical facilities across three states. You’ll hear conversations on relevant and trending topics in healthcare and much more. Now, here’s your hosts, Lisa and Jim. Jim (01:10): Hi, this is Jim Cagliostro and you’re listening to the Healthcare Leadership Experience. Today’s guest is Scott Colby, author of The Grateful Entrepreneur and founder of Say It With Gratitude. But hopefully we’ll talk a little bit about those gratitude hikes we’ve been talking about. But I love everything you’re about, Scott. So today we’re talking about the power of gratitude, especially as it relates to the healthcare field, to healthcare organizations, to hospitals, healthcare workers. So Scott, welcome. Thank you for joining us today. Scott (01:37): Jim, thank you for having me. This is my favorite topic to talk about, so I’m just thankful for you in giving me the opportunity to share with your listeners. Jim (01:46): I’m glad you took us up on it. Thank you, Scott. Thank you. So please, I always like to start out, tell us a little about yourself. Why this emphasis on gratitude and how your experiences have prepared you for what you do today? Scott (01:58): Sure. I’ve had a kind of a varied career in not only working in a hospital setting, but then starting my own business in the fitness world. But really this emphasis on gratitude kind of came about through a trip that I took to Guatemala in the summer of 2014. I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I mean, I went there specifically to build schools. There’s a nonprofit called Hug It Forward. They build schools in Guatemala out of plastic bottles filled with trash. So it’s a really unique, sustainable way that they build classrooms. And so I knew I wanted to do something where I could volunteer with children. So I signed up for this volunteer experience where I was going to be volunteering for about a week. But what they do is they build schools in more rural and poor communities. Scott (02:50): And so when the bus that I was riding in with about 25 other volunteers, as we pulled up to where we were going to be building the new classroom for that week, I looked out the window and I was taken by surprise because it looked like the entire community had come out to greet us. And as we stepped off the bus and walked between the two lines of people, they had formed two lines. They were hugging us, they were waving the American flag, giving us high-fives and smiles. And so I felt instantly loved and welcomed and I thought, gosh, this feels great. I don’t really feel this in my own home city, but I am soaking it in here and I love it. Scott (03:31): As the week went on, I really learned about this community, how they had very little, they had very little clean water, really cramped living conditions, no internet or the cell phones that sometimes we take for granted. And as I got back to the US, I started to kind of examine my life, like why am I complaining all the time? Why am I focusing on the things that I don’t have instead of being grateful for my life and what I do have? So that really started me on the journey of gratitude, personal gratitude, and then always being an entrepreneur, Jim, I decided how can I create a business out of this? So it started with thank you cards. I got kids in Guatemala to draw artwork, and then I turned them into thank you cards that I could sell to individuals and companies. Scott (04:20): Well, fast-forward a couple of years, it turned out that a lot of companies started purchasing my cards, which I love because as a business owner, that’s a great way to stand apart from your competition, just sending out thank you cards. And then it evolved to, I wrote a book called The Grateful Entrepreneur, started to get speaking engagements specifically in the healthcare industry. And now you alluded to, I do these outdoor team building gratitude hikes, which I love getting people out of their kind of work environment and into nature where you can de-stress and feel good about yourself. So it’s been a great journey, but it was that trip to Guatemala that was the catalyst to my own personal gratitude journey. Jim (05:00): That’s great. And I know you had shared that with me before about the visit to Guatemala, and that’s something I hadn’t shared with you. But my wife and I had spent multiple trips to Guatemala. There’s a family that we know and visiting people who have much less than we do, but you see the gratitude that exists there and a lot of it comes down to perspective. And I love that you shared. You didn’t just say, “Oh, that was a great experience, back to my life and go do what I’ve been doing.” But you allowed that to inspire you to something greater, something bigger. So I love it. Thank you, Scott for sharing that. Scott (05:32): You’re welcome. Jim (05:33): So thinking specifically with healthcare, you’ve said, I know I’ve read that “You can help hospitals and other healthcare centers create a happy workplace using gratitude as the foundation.” So I want to step back from that. Before we jump into that, let’s first talk about the issue that many of us recognize. I think everyone recognizes that it’s not easy to make a healthcare environment a happy workplace. It doesn’t just happen, it takes work, it takes intentionality, it takes hard work. Why is it that that’s the case? Why is it so hard to make a hospital or healthcare environment happy? Scott (06:09): From my perspective, and I am not currently working in healthcare, but I’ve seen and spoken to a lot of healthcare organizations, and I think even Jim, non-healthcare organizations have the same or similar challenges. From my perspective, what I see is workers are overwhelmed, they’re stressed, they have things to get done. I think in the US I think specifically we have a put your head down and get the work done no matter what the expense is. And often I think it’s at the expense of the employee, the team member, the healthcare worker. And so I think that’s a mentality. It’s like, “Hey, we need to get the job done no matter what. And if it takes working long hours, if it takes not getting to take a lunch break or taking any type of break, we just have to get it done.” And sometimes I think people feel like the work environment is not conducive to taking care of our own personal wellbeing. And then sometimes I know for people, they have challenges just asking for help. That was a big difference in Guatemala. Scott (07:18): Now keep in mind, I was there for a short period of time, but the community came out to welcome us. And the other thing I didn’t share is they were getting their hands dirty alongside the volunteers and actually did a lot of the work, but not at the expense of their health. They did it alongside of each other and like, “Hey, we have a common goal to build a new classroom and we’re going to do it as a community, but at the same time, we’re going to welcome strangers, we’re going to play soccer, we’re going to be in the outdoors and take breaks.” And I just think it’s a different mindset here where we work, and I know specifically as I still do some individual health coaching with clients who are looking to lose weight and improve their sleep and lower their stress. No matter what industry they’re in, it seems like work is a big reason that they’re unhealthy. And it stinks because as an employee, if we’re unhealthy, we’re not going to do our best at work. Jim (08:23): And I cannot agree with you more that I’m guilty of it in terms of how productive can I be, how efficient can I be? My wife will often remind me, we have whatever, we’ve got a project or clean the house or whatever, and the kids are like, “Move, move, move.” I’m pushing so hard. It’s like, hold on a second. We can be the most productive, but is that sustainable or is it just miserable to be working alongside me when I’m saying, “All right, what can we do to be more … Hold on. What about strengthening the relationship with my coworker?” Or what about doing this in a way that I can be here for the next decade rather than I’m going to push myself so hard that after a year, that’s it, I’m done. Scott (08:59): We’ll probably get into it more. The thing about pushing yourself so hard is it leads to illness, whether it’s physical illness, emotional exhaustion, mental breakdowns. And so as it might appear that we are more productive, the harder we work and the longer hours we work, studies actually show that when we can take breaks and step away for a few minutes, we’ll come back to our work more recharged and more productive. And I know it’s hard to grasp that because, “Well, how can I take 10 minutes and leave my work? I need to spend that 10 minutes doing the work.” But when we’re sick and exhausted and drained and stressed, we’re not very productive and that really hinders our work. Jim (09:48): Absolutely. Great point. Great point. So actually a few episodes ago, we did talk specifically about compassion fatigue and burnout. And so another question I kind of want you to tackle is why … You’ve mentioned about gratitude should start with you personally before we’re able to promote it in the workplace or promote it among our unit or the group that we’re working with. Why should it start with us personally? Why is it essential that gratitude starts with me or gratitude starts with you? Scott (10:18): Yeah, this is a great follow-up question to our last discussion here. I believe it’s essential that we have our own gratitude practice first before we even bring it into the work environment. Well, I’ll give an analogy, and most people probably have heard of this, is to, when you’re on an airplane before they take off, they’re reading the safety instructions, put that oxygen mask on yourself before you help other people around you. So just imagine if you don’t put that oxygen mask on yourself and you pass out, you can’t help anybody else. And so I believe if we’re feeling down and depressed and negative and then our work says, “Hey, we’re going to start implementing gratitude.” Well, we’re not going to be full participants because we don’t feel good ourselves, we’re feeling mentally, maybe physically sick. Scott (11:10): And so gratitude is a form of self-care. So the studies show that if you have a consistent and regular gratitude practice, you will feel more optimistic, you’re going to be more positive, your stress is going to be less, you might have more energy, sleep better. Whole host of benefits to practice personal gratitude. So I feel like that needs to be in place so that you are kind of more fit and more strong to give it out to other people when you start implementing that at work. Jim (11:41): That’s great. I think that’s a great point, and you’re making me think of just the whole power of leading by example. If I’m not a very grateful person, I’m trying to say, “Okay, we’re going to do this gratitude program, or you need to be more grate-.” Nobody’s going to hear me unless they see me practicing it. Scott (11:54): Exactly. Jim (11:54): But again, you’re going back to that point of sustainability. It is self-care. I’m glad you pointed that out. I didn’t really think of it that way. So you’ve mentioned about handwritten notes. You claim that handwritten notes can help your team feel valued, create deeper connections and bring your team closer together. I think that’s great. I agree 100%, but I want to know more. How does that work, those handwritten notes, and why is it so effective in your opinion? Scott (12:19): Yeah, so this is a topic near and dear to my heart. There’s a pre-pandemic statistic, so a little bit old, I think it’s probably worse now, that surveyed people that had left their job. And 79% of the people that answered the survey said they left their job in large part because they didn’t feel appreciated in the workplace. And I know Jim, back in my days before I started my own business, when I had jobs, that was probably the number one reason I didn’t like my job. I didn’t feel valued. I didn’t feel appreciated. And it’s one thing to recognize you for your work, but it’s another thing to feel appreciated as a human being, which I definitely didn’t feel in the jobs that I had. That’s kind of just to kind of kick things off with the handwritten note topic. That’s a big reason we need to start looking at gratitude in the workplace, appreciation in the workplace. There’s a great book that I just want to get in here. It’s a spinoff of The 5 Love Languages book that many people have heard about, but … Jim (13:23): Gary Chapman. Scott (13:23): Yeah, Gary Chapman. Jim (13:24): Yeah, I’ve read that. Scott (13:24): There’s another one called The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. It’s by Gary Chapman and Dr. Paul White, who’s a workplace appreciation expert. And it turns out we have different ways that we like to receive appreciation at work. Well, the one that ranks the highest is words of affirmation. So that’s where handwritten notes can come into play. Most of us like to receive appreciation through words, whether they’re written or whether they’re verbal. Scott (13:54): Now, the reason I like handwritten notes so much is if you think about the way we live our lives currently, we’re in a rush, we’re getting messages from everywhere, like social media, text, email, and probably 100 other ways that I didn’t name. And even if we’re getting a thank you, which sometimes we don’t, they’re often just quick text messages like “thank you”. And they’re usually for things that we did or for gift giving. Think about how would you feel if all of a sudden at work you received a handwritten note from a coworker who took the time to actually buy a card, get an envelope, mail it to your home, and write a heartfelt message of how they feel about you and what they appreciate about you. Not even looking about, “Hey, you’re doing a great job” or “Thank you for filling in for me when I had to miss a day.” Scott (14:53): But just like, “Hey, here’s what I love about you as a person. You’re funny. You make me laugh every day.” If you got that from a coworker or a boss and it came into your mail, which we know most mail is bills and ads, and you’re getting this envelope and it’s a handwritten envelope and you open it up and you’re like, wow. If that’s from a coworker or boss and they just pour their heart out to you, you’re going to be like, “I feel really good. This person really cares about me as a human being” and it’s going to change your attitude in the workplace. So you are going to want to do a better job and probably be more productive and you’re happier overall and maybe want to stick around the workplace and not quit your job. And so I think that’s why gratitude can be shown in many different ways at work, but I think handwritten notes is one of the most powerful ways that you could do so. Jim (15:50): You’re getting me emotional thinking about it. I still have cards from my first year, first two or three years of nursing where I would get a thank you from a patient and I’ve saved those and keep them in … It’s been a while since I’ve pulled it up, but if I ever pull it out and look at them, I’m like, wow. Even going back to that memory and how that made me feel, when you get that appreciation, and I love … I never thought about what you said about you get that in the middle of the bills or the junk mail and it stands in such contrast to, “Oh, great, more junk. What’s this?” This word of encouragement? What an incredible impact that can have. I love that you pointed that out. Scott (16:26): And the cool thing is the person that writes the card benefits too, because when somebody writes a card, they’re expressing gratitude. So it goes back to establishing that personal gratitude habit, which could be you could make a personal gratitude habit out of writing handwritten notes. You feel good as the writer. And I’ve tested this, the research shows that if you read your card out loud to the recipient, that’s going to create an even closer connection between the two people. And usually because I’ve tested this on some of my gratitude hikes and my keynotes, I always have the audience members write a handwritten note during my keynotes. Scott (17:05): And if I get volunteers to read their card, they get emotional. You would think the person who the card is written to might tear up. It’s usually the reader because we have a hard time expressing ourselves like, “Hey, I love you. Here’s what I appreciate about you.” And we just have a hard time as humans verbalizing those words. So when we write it down and then we read them, oftentimes we get choked up. So really love the connection that can happen between two people just through handwritten notes. Jim (17:37): That’s powerful. That’s powerful. Thank you, Scott. If you’re just tuning in, you’re listening to the Healthcare Leadership Experience, and I’m your host, Jim Cagliostro. This show is sponsored by VIE Healthcare Consulting, a SpendMend company, which provides leading edge financial and operational consulting for hospitals, healthcare institutions, and other providers of patient care. Since 1999, VIE has been a recognized leader in healthcare costs, hospital purchased services, healthcare benchmarking, supply chain management, and performance improvement. You can learn more about VIE Healthcare Consulting at viehealthcare.com. So very simple question, Scott. I love what we’ve talked about so far, but how does one lead with gratitude? Can we get into that a little bit more? How does a person lead with gratitude? Scott (18:20): And so I consider leading with gratitude, especially whether you’re a one main company or you have a whole organization with hundreds of people as treating other people. And so I know we’ve talked about how we treat our coworkers, but let’s say how we treat our patients, our residents, our clients, treating them like humans and not like a transaction. So got a couple good examples for you based from my own personal life. When I lived in Denver, I had two cats, one of them named Nomar and Nomar had to get two teeth pulled one morning. And so as our pets are getting surgery and whatever is going on with them, we get nervous, we’re anxious. So that morning I went to my favorite coffee shop called Fluid, and Fluid is a company and organization, they serve coffee, but they really got to know me over the years as a person. They knew that I had two cats. They knew I took a trip to Guatemala. Scott (19:20): Well, that morning I told the barista Coley, “Hey, my cat was getting two teeth pulled.” This is very coincidental, but she had a cat getting teeth pulled that day as well. She just did something simple. She said, “Your coffee is on the house.” And that made me smile. It took my mind off my cat for a few minutes, and it wasn’t a company saying, “Hey, we need to milk this transaction and make sure we get money out of you.” It was like, “Hey, Scott is anxious today. How can we put a smile on his face for a few minutes?” And so that stuck with me. Scott (19:56): And then later on that day when the vet office called me in to pick up Nomar, they said he did a good job. It’s easy just to have, “Here’s your cat. Pay us $1000.” While that did happen, what they also did was they gave me a certificate, and the certificate was for Nomar, and they called it a Certificate of Bravery. And they said, “Nomar was a brave boy today.” And it may sound corny, but if anybody praises our pets for those pet lovers out there, we just love that company. And so this vet did something very simple. They made a certificate of bravery for Nomar, and that just made my day. I share that in my keynotes now as this is a company to model. They weren’t just saying like, “Hey, pay up.” They said, “Hey, how can we make Scott feel good?” And that’s how they did it. And so that’s leading with gratitude. Not just about the bottom line, not just about making numbers, but treating anybody that you come in contact with as a human and seeing how you can make them feel better. Jim (21:03): That’s great. Well, I will point out, I know our listeners can’t see you, but I believe I see … Yeah, cat … Scott (21:07): Cat dad. Jim (21:08): Cat dad, nice. I love that you’re pulling stories of experiences that you have had and to see how powerful those little moments are. I guess those little moments of humanity where people are treating you not just as another customer or another way to make a few bucks. But no, this is a human who is having an experience that maybe I’ve gone through something similar, or maybe I haven’t, but I know something about what he’s going through. How can I make that better? Scott (21:34): And the pet company, Chewy, which sells pet food and other pet accessories, they’re really well known for this. If your pet passes away, they usually send you sympathy flowers and a card in the mail, and I’m telling you. So they do it because they’re a heartfelt business, but it actually is good business because if you have another pet or you get a new pet, you’re going to stick with Chewy. So anytime you can write a card to a client or a patient or do something that makes them smile and create a memorable experience for your clientele, they’re going to want to continue to do business with you. So it’s actually good business to implement a gratitude practice. Jim (22:15): That’s great. That’s great. So that leads us into … I mean, you’re making me think about the ability to connect on a human level. I believe that’s easier, I think naturally, when we’re a smaller business. If it’s a mom and pop shop, great, you really get to know the customers you have the freedom to do. But when as we get bigger, as organizations get bigger, it’s not just in healthcare, but in any organization, the culture can be very difficult to change, it can be difficult to establish and really to maintain. So how would you say you create, establish, and maintain a culture of gratitude in a workplace like healthcare that can be so stressful. It’s surrounded by sickness, death, pain. How do we create this culture and maintain it in healthcare in particular? Scott (22:58): Yeah, I mean, I think you’ve mentioned it earlier, it needs to be intentional. And even if it’s a large organization, I know it might seem harder to do this, but it’s necessary. I mean, you may work for a large company, but I think that’s when you need it more, because as an employee, as a healthcare worker, you could feel lost in the shuffle. You could feel like, hey, nobody cares about me, or nobody appreciates me. Nobody sees me. So I mean, there’s a lot of things you could do. We chatted about it earlier, is just being aware of each team member’s wellbeing. I think that’s first and foremost. But also creating those connections and relationships. Scott (23:40): One eye-opening statistic, it’s not talked about, I think as much as maybe appreciation or workplace wellbeing, although it’s part of it, is loneliness in the workplace. And so a statistic that came out a few years ago is 61% of employees feel lonely at work, they feel disconnected. And again, that’s going to hurt engagement and productivity, and you’re not going to want to stay there longer. On the other hand, 70% of employees in a survey said that having a friend at work is the number one critical factor to workplace happiness, which I love saying that. So I think one of the things I would really invest in is creating these deeper connections in the workplace and even friendships. I know maybe we don’t talk about that much. Creating a friend at work. I don’t like anybody at work. I just want to … Jim (24:35): There’s no time for that. Yeah, we’ve got to work. Scott (24:36): There’s no time for that. But again, I know personally, I know I have my own business now, but the jobs that I had when I had friends at work and we maybe did things together or we got to know each other on a more personal level, that made work more fun. It made it more tolerable, even if there were things about the job I didn’t like, and then you have a second thought about quitting your job because “Hey, I don’t want to leave a job that I have friends at.” So there are different ways that you can create these human connections at work, such as writing handwritten notes or taking a break with them outside and sharing a laugh or sharing a meal together. Scott (25:14): So I think it’s really about time to create these meaningful connections. When I do, and you’ve probably been on large Zoom calls where there may be a couple of hundred people, what do they do? I know some people don’t like it, but you go into breakout rooms a lot of times with three people. So I think it’s a matter of if you work in a large organization, see where you can get to know two or three people, go into an in-person breakout room, so to speak, have a meal with somebody, share a walk with somebody, and really get to know that person. Jim (25:48): That’s great. Can you say that statistic one more time because heard that about the importance of having a friend at work, it was 70%? Scott (25:54): Yeah. 70% of people that filled out a survey say friends at work is the most crucial element to workplace happiness. Jim (26:02): I’ll attest to that. I mean, I think I may have shared this on the podcast before, but I’ve been in some of the most stressful work environments, but it’s about the people who you work alongside. I’ll take that stressful work environment because I know I have some of the strongest coworkers next to me, as opposed to maybe I could be in an easy setting, but I really don’t like the coworkers so much, or I don’t have a close relationship with them. It’s harder to stay in a situation like that even if the work is easier. Scott (26:29): And Jim, something that I’ve kind of evolved into recently is … Because I used to focus on that 79% statistic where people quit their job, did so because they didn’t feel appreciated at work, which is great, and I focus all on gratitude. But I think you need appreciation at work, and you need friends at work, and you need workplace wellbeing where it’s okay to take breaks and unplug and have a life after work. You need all of that to create a really bonded and well-run organization. Jim (27:06): So Scott, you did touch on the importance of relationships, and I know you’ve talked about, I know on LinkedIn I’ve seen these conversations about loneliness, and especially for men, but for a lot of workers it’s a growing problem, this idea of loneliness in the workplace. So how do we build those relationships? I mean, you mentioned the handwritten notes and sharing a meal or sharing an experience together, but you’ve said that there’s certain types of questions that we can ask to create meaningful positive relationships at work. What are these types of questions? Can you give our listeners maybe some examples of these questions we can ask to strengthen relationships at work? Scott (27:44): Yeah, I’m glad we’re touching on this because I think this is an important topic. First, let me share with you, I think why this is important. I think that a lot of times our personal lives and our work lives are not mixed together, but I think they should be. Sometimes we go into work and we check our emotions at the door, so to speak, and then we just are just in work mode. Jim (28:07): Guilty. Scott (28:08): But the problem with that … Yeah, me too, when I was working. The problem with that, I think, suppose I had a death in the family, and I came into work the next day and I was sad and I wasn’t very productive, and I was kind of checked out. Wouldn’t you as a teammate want to know what was wrong with me? And wouldn’t I, on the other hand, want to feel comfortable sharing with you that I had a death in the family and let’s chat about it? But oftentimes we don’t get into that personal relationship. So that’s why I think it’s a big problem. We need to be able to feel comfortable asking questions and opening up even if they’re personal questions. Scott (28:51): The standard questions that I see a lot of people ask, and I’m guilty of this is just like, “How are you today?” And the standard answer is, “I’m fine.” When in reality we probably have 50 other emotions that aren’t fine that we could have expressed, but we’re not comfortable expressing them because there’s not an environment at work that’s maybe welcoming to chat about things like that. So instead of asking, “How are you?” Maybe a better question could be, and this wouldn’t be like, hey, you’re just walking past somebody in the hallway. This would have to be maybe planned a little bit. But one thing that I have my audience do in my keynotes is write down one word that describes how you’re feeling about life right now. One word that describes … Scott (29:39): And so somebody may put, I’m afraid, or I’m frustrated, or I’m angry, and I’m like, wow, that gives a little bit of insight about what’s going on in that person’s head. And then a good follow-up question that I’ll have people do is, “Why did you choose that word?” When you ask them why did they choose that word, you’re giving somebody permission to express your feelings and their emotions. The person that asks the question, it’s key that they’re a good listener. And so really be mindful of that you are paying attention and you are listening and you’re making the other person feel heard. That’s a sign of gratitude is how well of a listener you are. But there was actually a really cool research project I want to touch on. Scott (30:30): Arthur Aaron was a research psychologist decades ago. He wanted to answer this question, how can we in a laboratory setting create instant intimacy between strangers? So what he did, he got a large group of people, brought them into his laboratory, and what he had done, he created, after some trial and error, he had created a list of 36 questions. They started out more general and then got more intimate, and he paired people up. He paired people up. Mind you, these people were strangers and they just took turns back and forth asking each other these questions. Just imagine if you’re in a room with some other person, maybe a coworker that you don’t know very well, and that you ask each other these 36 questions. By the end of that, you’re going to be like, gosh, I know this person a lot better now. I know their likes, dislikes, what they’re going through. Scott (31:28): And so what Arthur Aaron found out is I think it was 57% of the people in the group that were strangers wanted to hang out with their partner again in some other setting after the research project was over. So they got to know the person enough that they wanted to hang out together after the fact. And then two people from the study, one pair actually got married and invited everybody from the study. So really asking these kind of open-ended questions like what is one word that describes how you’re feeling about life right now? Or, I actually created a deck called the Grateful Deck, and it’s 120 questions just like this that you could use at home or work. And it’s things like, describe your happiest memory or what’s your most favorite thing that’s happened to you over the last year? And then tell me about it or describe what you’re grateful for about each family member. Scott (32:27): Just questions like that that allow the other person to express themselves and tell a little bit about themselves and what’s important to them or what’s going on in their life. It’s much more powerful than just doing something like, “Hey, how’s it going today?” Where you’re not going to get the truthful answer anyway. So I have companies that have gotten my Grateful Deck, or I’ve sent them the 36 questions from Arthur Aaron’s study, and they’re using these questions to open meetings, or they’ll do a Thankful Thursday where they’ll take some time to maybe go through one question and a couple of people can share. And again, if you have a large group, break it up into where you’re with one other person, get to know them for a few minutes, and then you can get back to your main group and share what you learned about your partner. So really good way to create those connections. Jim (33:17): That’s great. Now I’m going to ask for me personally, but for our listeners, how can I get a hold of that Grateful Deck? Is there a way for us to request from you? Scott (33:25): Yes. If you go to sayitwithgratitude.com, there’s a tab up there that says products, and then you’ll be able to find the Grateful Deck from there. Jim (33:35): What a great tool I think that we could use. I mean, not just in the workplace, even in the family setting or … Man, Scott, we’ve covered a lot in terms of gratitude in the workplace, how it needs to start with us personally. I love that you brought out the importance of feeling valued and appreciated, like recognition in the workplace, the importance of relationships, and I love the examples that you provided. Is there any last words that you’d like to leave with our listeners? Any leadership advice that you’ve learned or that’s helped carry you through your career? Scott (34:04): Yeah, I mean, I think it really comes back to relationships and treating people like human beings, which I know again, we have demands at work and sometimes that gets lost, that message gets lost. And so whatever way you start this, whether you are doing something like, “Hey, let’s do something from the Grateful Deck and start asking questions once a week to our coworkers.” Or you’re having a meal with somebody, or you’re doing some sort of hike out in nature and expressing gratitude there, or you’re starting to write a handwritten note to a coworker, just really remember that the relationships are what matters most. In a workplace saying, they say kind a phrase that I’ve heard used, business is personal. So I think that kind of sums it up. So just really remember to get to know people on that level, and I think that’s going to make a big difference in your organization. Jim (35:02): Great. Great. I think that’s a perfect way to end this conversation. Thank you so much for being on the show today, Scott, and thank you to our listeners who spent time with us today. If you have any questions about VIE Healthcare Consulting, a SpendMend company, or if you want to reach out to me or Lisa Miller, you can find us on LinkedIn. You can also find Scott on LinkedIn as well. We’ll provide the link on the page here. We at SpendMend love helping hospitals save money and enhance the patient experience. And we’re hoping that the episode today, I know the episode today gave you some new insights or ideas to consider and use in your career and in your own healthcare organization. Scott, again, thank you so much for being on the show with us today. Scott (35:39): Thanks for having me, Jim. I had a blast. I appreciate it. And thank you for the listeners to listening. Jim (35:43): Great. Speaker (35:45): Thanks for listening to the Healthcare Leadership Experience Podcast. We hope you’ve enjoyed this episode. If you’re interested in learning new strategies, best practices and ideas to utilize in your career and healthcare organization, check out our website at thehealthcareleadershipexperience.com. And oh yeah, don’t forget to rate and review us, and be sure to join Lisa and Jim next time on the Healthcare Leadership Experience Podcast. Thanks again for listening.